The topic of this week’s Big Shout was whether Newcastle FC can return to the Premiership. Plenty of newsprint has been devoted to the same topic and Romily and myself decided to have our say in the FIFA 10 Podcast, simply because I’m annoyed at the presumption that Newcastle are a big club that deserves to be in the top flight.

Where does this idea come from?

They last won the FA Cup in 1955 and the closest they got to Premier League glory was when Man Utd pipped them to the post in 1997 after they squandered a 12-point lead. Now that’s hardly the pedigree of an elite team that belongs in the top tier of English football.

In fact, their only unique contribution to English football over recent years has been the sight of fat Geordies crying in the stands as their side was relegated. These shaven-headed topless men have had plenty to cry about in their time. All it takes is for a manager to lose two games on the trot and then these fans are blubbing away and calling for his head.

I doubt that Ruud Gullit, Graeme Souness, Glenn Roeder and Sam Allardyce would share the view that Newcastle fans are the best in football. At the first sign of trouble they’re baying for blood.

The simple fact is that Newcastle is a comedy team. They’re the footballing equivalent of a chimp dressed up as a human. Funny to watch as it parades about with ideas above its station, desperately trying to pass itself off as one of the big boys, but ultimately failing to convince anyone.

However, if reports are true then the punch line to this laughable affair could be the return of Kevin Keegan as manager if a Dubai tycoon buys the club from Mike Ashley. But that’s a joke we’ve all heard before.

The FIFA 10 podcast is recorded every Thursday morning, GMT. To get involved, follow Romily Broad on Twitter.

The views of Stevie Morgan do not necessarily represent those of EA. And certainly not Romily Broad. Or anyone, for that matter. Except, possibly, the chimp.